I don't really know what to say. I am feeling rather down. Lonely. Not unusual... just kinda unbearable right now. Which I hate. In the back of my head I know I need to push past it.. and just only DO what needs to be done... But I can never do what really needs to be done. Because I can only be frozen.. and if I thaw just a little I am paralyzed just the same.
I think I must be a awful person.
But I'm not quite sure how... or why...
But it must be so.
And I hate myself for even putting this out there.
......
I spent a lonely childhood learning to survive. How successful I was is argueable. Nothing one person can do to another can be more cruel than to deliberately cause lonliness.
ReplyDeleteBecause my world was so unberaable, I mentally created my own tolerable world, and in the process taught myself to enjoy solitude.