Friday, August 27, 2010


Another A.M session. Baby won't fall back asleep... He is one year old now. He SHOULD sleep through the night! This is driving me nuts! I haven't been here in a while. Actually that isn't entirely true,, I have at least two or three drafts that I have abandoned. I don't know why... I am feeling this dark hole in the pit of my stomach... like a vacuum sucking .. empty , consuming ache. I feel .. sad. Just right now. Like my fragile self-esteem , and hope has been forgotten in the flowerpot and is withering and drying up. I need a good watering ;) It can dry up so quickly. One day everything is fine, and the next I want to curl up in bed and cry, or yell and scream angrily at any who may pass cheerfully. Sounds like real mental problems.. but there is n't much I can do about that... Not at this time anyway. Maybe.. maybe soon. I am so-o tired. Have to work today.. and the boyfriend works all weekend... I'm frustrated, angry really. I just got over the lack of sleep and becoming sick ,, I was just getting better, and now it seems I am being pushed back down that hellish path again. I guess I am going to have to catch a few Zzz'z on the sofa... hate that.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010


So its been a very long couple of days. And its not yet over... got through a battle today, but there is another tomorrow. No rest for the weary rings ever so true. But I gotta "keep on truckin", "Keep on keeping on", "Keep on moving", ectera, ectera, ectera. I am feeling very happy and blessed about dodging the bullets today, very greatful. But already I feel the high of todays win fading into the background , and the clench of the unknown moving into my gut. SIGH! Well must go feed baby and myself. Its 7:15 and all I'v consumed today is a cup of coffee this morning before work ;/

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

The Blahs

I'v had a heinous attack of the stomach flu the last couple days and have felt.. well you could imagine I'm sure.:(
I have Three THREE 3 tenitive photoshoots that I have yet to line up date and solidify... Gah! and one more even more "tenitive".... *sigh*... Welllll lots to do.. (not feeling it) Need to go clean the kitchen.. and bathroom... HATE doing dishes.. the WORST!! :(