Its Today Again

Good-morning world. Slightly anxious this morning... but kinda sorta looking forward to the day too. Different than usual. Later this evening I am taking the train to Tacoma, to see a friend. Tomorrow we will (along with three other girls/ladies? are we getting to old to be "girls"???) will be going to Seattle.
I am anxious.. partly because (well I am ALWAYS anxious);( Partly because this is something I NEVER even get the opportunity to do.. partly because said friend and I have had some... issues? and partly because I look like crap. Which is okay kinda in my normal life.. where I only work in empty houses and come home.... I am pretty much invisable. Which although painful at times.. works out fine.

On another note.. I am frustrated...
Its annoying to see people time and time again getting credit and praise for my ideas...
I don't say much , because.. well I can't take credit for "ideas" .. and I know I am not the only one with said ideas... BUT when I have done something and I know the other person has seen it and than copies.. wellllll. Frustrating.

Silence

I don't really know what to say. I am feeling rather down. Lonely. Not unusual... just kinda unbearable right now. Which I hate. In the back of my head I know I need to push past it.. and just only DO what needs to be done... But I can never do what really needs to be done. Because I can only be frozen.. and if I thaw just a little I am paralyzed just the same.

I think I must be a awful person.
But I'm not quite sure how... or why...

But it must be so.

And I hate myself for even putting this out there.

......

Nothing Lasts Forever

30 minutes sleep.. yay me. -_- So listening to bebe talk in his crib.. wish I could sleep through it. Fortunely I'm not to exhausted at the moment. So thats good. Sometimes I am so exhausted, murdering everyone sounds like a real option. Feeling a lil low.. And that I am pretty sure involves my continous lack of sleep. So here I am once again. I'm sure I was missed ;p yep theres that resondant chorus of crickets...

4 a.m; this hour is reserved for the graveyard shift, druggies and other nocturnal weirdos.. ;)

I guess I'll take a shower, make some tea, and possibly paint...