Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Very very tired, but as is the broken litany of my life I cannot sleep. It is four o'clock a.m. I am curious... What does one do if they KNOW what is wrong with them but they DON'T know WHAT to do about, WHERE to go, WHO to see? I need to check if my medical is available... and see a doctor. I'm not well, and I dont know where to begin to change it. Despite the KNOWING I haven't a clue what to DO. Or how to DO it. Feeling stuck and being completely aware is like a hell on earth. Am I even alive? I wouldn't really call myself depressed... some may. I feel more angry and anxious then sad. I feel like I have chains and weights tying me up and dragging me down when I so desperately want to fly. Ahh well I am going to try to go back to sleep now.