Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Random Bits Of Life

Random Fact #1
I was born on the exact due date the doctor gave my mother. Thats pretty rare.. about five percent of babies are born on their given "due date". I'm not sure if that is an indicator of me thereafter always being on time. But I do try. And I get anxious if for some reason, I'm not on time. My mother tried to bring me into the world the "normal" way.. pushing me out... but everytime she had a contraction my heart beat would drop.... I wasn't coming. So they had an emergency C-section; The umbilical cord was wrapped around my neck numerous times. My brother use to tease me saying I was born trying to commit suicide.

Random Fact #2
My mother was part of a "cult" for seven years. I wasn't allowed to watch TV,listen to music, Go to swimming lessons with my class in elementry school ( I would stay in the class alone for the hours everyone was gone, I guess they trusted me huh) ;/
I didn't celebrate any holidays. I was once a very happy bubbly child.... but the church said I "giggled to much", therefore they said I was "unclean". My mother went to a meeting with the different "branches" of the church across the country, in Idaho one year. The kids stayed behind to be babysat. We slept on bamboo mats on a hard floor with a sheet over us. We had to lay on our backs with our hands on top of the sheet at our side... to be sure we didn't "touch ourselves".... .... ect.

Random Fact#3
I remember the day my mom decided we wouldn't be going to "church" anymore. She had been "withdrawn from" (nobody could talk to her) For fornication/... adultry.. oh whatever, she had sex with some dude.... out of wedlock. (rolls eyes) I was about 11 I believe... I remember walking across the driveway of the duplex we lived in after she said we wouldn't be going to church that day (or the next or the next as it turned out) ;) I remember feeling both free and like God would strike me dead any secound.......

Random Fact #4
When I was 10 years old I decided I would go live with my aunt and uncle since I didn't "get along" with my mother (she just always made me feel like shit) I stayed at my aunt and uncles for about two weeks, until my 14 year old cousin who was also staying there, told me he had cigerettes, and put his hand on my leg and tried to kiss me. After I told and went back home. I was told that my other cousins didn't beleive me..... Whatever...

Random Fact #5
One day when I was 15 I just broke down in tears in class.. for no apparent reason, and couldn't stop. The teacher had my "friend" walk me to the counselors office. The counselor told my mother being just a school counselor I would need to find someone I could see on a more regular basis.... So she found be someone else. I started cutting and 12 days before my 16th birthday my counselor told me I could either go to a lock down facilitie near my home.... Or they could take me up state without my permission. I chose to go voluntarilary ;/ I was admitted twice that time 12 days before my 16th birthday and again when I was 17.

Random Fact #6
The moment I turned 18 I moved with my 17 year old "best friend" upstate to stay with her gramother, in a fifthwheel outside her grammas trailer. My friend started seeing ghosts who would "take her over". Her "mother" who had died seven years earlier, woke me two nights in a row... one night telling me I had a "gift" and it would come as I got older.... she then asked me if I had any questions... wellll I was kinda scared shitless... I said no.. Now I sorta wish I'd said yes. LOL. One night in a dead sleep my friend rolled over me (OW) and unlocked the fifthwheel door and barefoot sleptwalk outside on the gravel driveway.... I ran after her.. even though gravel driveways are painful on barefeet.... after she stood at the gate mumbling for a few minutes I was able to guide her back. We stayed at her grammas for about a month, then we moved to Texas to stay with a 40 year old woman neither of us knew (she had met her on-line in sime poetry chatroom so I'v been told..... When The woman picked us up at the airport I was terrified ,, especially when I found she had the type of car where the doors automatically lock after the car starts......... My friend saw ghosts there to ... One night I woke to find her in the living room on the floor in the glow from the computer rocking back and forth reciting the lords prayer. Another night she was iin the kitchen holding the wood knife block, without looking at me and through clenched teeth she asked me to take it from her... I pryed it from her hands... and put it on top of the fridge......

Random Fact #7
We both got jobs at a fastfood resturant. She had the day shift , and I had the nightshift. Most nights I came home to the door locked.. I had a key to one lock, but they would seemingly complete forget about me and latch , bolt and set the alarm ;/ WE ended up getting in some kinda fight.. I don't even remember what it was about...... I was told I would have to move out... so I was pretty much stranded alone halfway across the country. Yet I didn't want to even try to go back home. So I saved up my money and got an apartment actually the young man I met at the fastfood resturant we both worked at "found the apartment"... we were going to be "roommates". We were suppose to go halves on the apartment. He had ended up getting a job somewhere else so we hadn't been working together for about a month. He came to my work and told me how much my "supposed" half of the rent would be.. I gave it to him.. I found out later I paid for everything.... I also found out as we were moving into said apartment (from his friend no less) that he had quit his job. I was in shock.. what the hell!! But I didn't say anything... He started the relationship on a billion lies starting with his age. He stole my money not once not twice but routinely. He did drugs . ectera. You would think this would be enough to end things right there huh?..... I guess it was still better then going back "home".
The first night he asked me if I wanted him to sleep in the livingroom or with me in the bedroom. I wasn't stupid.. I knew what he was asking... I said he could sleep in the bedroom. So thats where we "did it" on the floor in an empty apartment.

Random Fact #8
When I was 14 one day my father was driving me home, when he stopped the truck and took a blade out of a box (the kind ment for boxcutters) and told me to kill him... He repeated his request over and over, while I begged him to just take me home... He finally did.

Random Fact #9
I had a lesbian relationship for one year until I found out she cheated on me and broke up....I was 16.... I ran away for about 2 months.

Random Fact #10
My BF and I were robbed at gunpoint in a Tom Thumb parking lot one winter just before Christmas. Actually my BF was the one that was robbed.. of his 20 dollars. The guy didn't know I had nearly 1000 dollars in the pocket of my leather jacket. I had earlier decided to leave my purse at home ;)

Random Fact #11
One summer I went camping at the beach. I rode a horse bareback, a dog jumped out of the bushes at the side of the trail and spooked the horse, I fell off.... thank God I wasn't trampled. I was kept awake for the"required" hour or so.... you have no idea how badly I wanted to go to sleep.

Random Fact #12
I went camping one year with my mother and her boyfriend and my brothers... The boys had taken over the tent, so I was allowed to sleep in the van with them and my baby brother. My mothers stupid boyfriend put a heater in the van and kept it closed up... I ended up getting carbon monoxide poisoning... while I convulsed and vomited the next day... they cleaned up the campsite to leave.. my mom rolled her eyes kicked me and told me to "put on my shoes".......
LOL if i reminded her of these things now she would say she didn't remember, or that isn't what happened ;/

Random Fact #13
I am exhausted........................... TBC :/

1 comment:

  1. Wow, this is so truthful and so amazingly written!
    I always think things in my life are hard, but you have been through much more than me!
    Wow, I love your blog!