Saturday, June 5, 2010


I feel so.......... irrationally ANGRY. We went to the farmers market and bought more strawberries today. Baby-girl got her face painted. Baby-boy was whiny and clingy and altogether horrid, once again made the outting stressful and a pain-in-the-Ass. I hate that. We can NEVER go out and have a good time... Not with the kids.. and most definately not WITHOUT the kids. I want to cry. We then headed to my brothers for an inpromptu visit. My Father happened to be there. Fan-fucking-tastic... we stayed for awhile anyway. But left pretty quickly regardless. His wife was gone for the night staying over at her grandmothers.
The Boyfriend isn't feeling well (he never seems well) as soon as we got home he went to lie down.
I went on Facebook and it seems like everyone else is happy and having fun...
I am ashamed of feeling this way, but I feel jealous... I don't want to feel that way! Its a horrible emotion , pathetic!
It has been beautiful out today.. anyway. I'm just frustrated and tired and stressed and disappointed.... and .... sad. Sometimes I just really want to SCREAM!!! Nothing FEELS Right!


  1. I don't know why I keep coming back to your posts. I feel a need to help you and make you feel better. Perhaps my words in themselves will help? maybe not. In any case, you need to know that people care. Perhaps that is it. You are cared for and it is all worth it. Just focus on one good thing a day that goes your way or is beautiful and you will feel better.
    Blessings from Star

  2. Thank you So much for your caring... and comments. I feel kind of like I'm being overboard ... Like my circumstances must seem worse then they are although I am only portraying exactly my feeling and thoughts! I am a very strong person.. This is just "My Life". Some have it better.. but whet I always ALWAYS remember is some have it SO MUCH WORSE... and I am truly blessed even when I am sad or hurt ectera. Even if I do feel alone... ;p This I suppose is why I blog... It feels better then just keeping everything closed up in a journal .. that feels a little stagnant... ;p
    THANKYOU!! ♥♥