Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Just Me

I have GOT to stop this!!I try really hard to be positive.... the whole "fake it till you make it" positive out look. Just BE happy.... Blah blah blah. But right now I'm feeling pretty down. I started that wonderful time of the month every woman between certain ages enjoy. So I KNOW.. why I'm having such a hard time to some degree. But I dont entirely think my feelings are B.S. I just think sometimes the whole feeling are brought to the fore front and felt more intensly because of what may be going on with the body.. not that said feeling have no meaning.... Lol ;/
Anywho.. the worse I feel the usually more cryptic I become. Its like I'm ashamed to be hurting so much....
I usually blog or write at all when I am feeling down.. So I know I sound like I'm in the depths of despair at almost all times. But I'm really not that bad. I have been light years worse.. Lol.
I'v been thinking I need to blog and write more when I'm not feeling like utter shit. I have a notebook I write and keep my dreams ect in.. But i need to be more deligent about it. Writing when I'm sad or hurting is a tool I'v used for a long time.. to getthe feelings out.. sometimes or cpourse they just keep coming.. and seem to be no end.. till I am more able to just stop the flow, but not empty the vault.... more crypticness, lol ;p
At least I'm smiling a little now :) I can still make myself laugh a lil ;p
thats always good right?

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